Kyoka freshers, they can really be an amazing lot of students. When I wrote two weeks back in this newspaper encouraging freshers that were being made fun of to come to me for assistance, I thought I was joking.

Honestly I could never have imagined that anybody would take me seriously but surprisingly some freshers did and they have been roving all over the place looking for my soul on campus just that they may consult a thing a two about campus lifestyle from me and also report to me some of those silly continuing students that are making fun of them just because they are freshers. I swear for the last two weeks I have been some kind of consultant to the extent that at one point I felt like I needed to open a consultancy firm to deal with matters that concern freshers on campus.
Being the ka proud buffoon that I am I have been moving around campus with my head high, carrying that heavy swagger just to make those freshers think that I am some honoured fool in this university because I saw this as the best opportunity to  brag about my being a continuing student. And by the way I had a reason to brag because most of the time when those freshers were coming to me to assist them to solve a few problems here and there, sincerely I always managed to solve their problems. In fact some of those that I assisted think I am a very good person which I am not. I was only pretending such that they would all feel welcome to UCU and at home. However I can assure you that as soon as they settle in and begin feeling at home I will then bring out my true colours because I am not planning to pretend for long. Yes I know I have treated some of them like kings and queens but that is only for the moment.
Besides, I do not expect any more freshers to come bothering my soul asking me about campus lifestyle as if I am their elder brother that they came hoping to meet in UCU and one that would assist them get acclimatised to university lifestyle. I also have things to do. The problem with some of them is that they think learning about campus lifestyle is like studying Understanding Old Testament where they have to be given lectures and tutorials. Unfortunately that is not the way it happens. In fact I was simply making fun of some of those freshers that came to me for consultation when I asked them to organise a lecture where I would teach them all the stuff that they wanted to know about campus life. I just hope they read this and understand that surely as the night follows the day I will never conduct such a lecture. All that I need to tell such kinds of freshers is that learning how to live your life here on campus is akin to the way children learn to walk. We all learnt differently how to walk and through unique experiences. So we are not about to think that you too should learn to walk just in a similar way we learnt to walk. You have your experiences that you will meet and through them learn. So why should we tell you on how you should live on campus when we even do not know which experiences are going to shape your learning of what transpires on campus. So the next time a mad continuing student like I comes to you claiming to have tricks that will help you learn to leave your life on campus, simply tell him or her to go to hell or send that student to me such that I can help you tell that student to go to hell.

Tiberindwa is a second year Law student