By BY LYDIA LAKWONYERO, :: 26-07-2011

the musinguzi'sSo how did you meet?
It was between 1999 and 2001. She was a student here at UCU whereas I was head of department, Social Sciences. The UCU community was really small then. So naturally students and workers  alike knew each other. I would meet her on campus and at worship hours in chapel but it was just casual.
Later she became vice-- president in the guild government and sometimes there would be meetings between guild leaders and heads of departments. I would see her then. We got married in August 2001.
Faith: The first time I saw Benon was at one of the Christmas celebrations here at UCU. As it was the tradition annually, a few members were selected to take the Scripture readings. And this particular time Benon and I had been chosen.
I saw him from a distance right before he walked up and thought to myself, “I think it would be a good thing if I were married to this man.” It was just a thought and it never occurred to me that he might have probably had a similar thought about me.
He later sent a friend to make his intentions known. I guess being the head of department he found it a bit difficult.
This friend of his-- a reverend- - told me that Benon was interested and that he wanted me to attend a fellowship at his home.
At the fellowship, we were quite a number of people. He had prepared tea and liver. When we finally got to talk, he asked if his message had been delivered and what my answer was. I told him that we should give it a try but warned him not to tell anybody or I would end the relationship. I feared people’s reaction once they found out the guild vice--president was dating a member of staff. Bishop Maari, however, got to know about it.
At one time he met me on the way and cautioned me against going to Benon’s house. He told me to make sure we kept the testimony.
We became even more discrete from that time on, only meeting on Sundays to go to worship at St. Francis chapel, Makerere.
Our fear was that people would misinterpret our relationship so we tried as much as possible not to be seen together. When we decided to get married, many were shocked because they had not known we were dating.
What attracted you to your spouse?
Faith is a beautiful woman; naturally her looks attracted me. She also had great leadership skills and this was largely portrayed in her role as vice-president in the student guild. Her godliness just summed up the whole package.
Faith: As a child, I prayed for a truly Christian man: One who was simple in character and would never raise his hands against me. I grew up with a disciplinarian father and I did not want to see that in my husband. I wanted someone I could talk to freely with no kind of fear.
Also, growing up, I noticed that I had a dark skin complexion so I asked God for someone light--skinned to complement my looks.
I wanted an intelligent and well-informed man. I can confidently say that I found exactly what I asked God for in my husband, Benon.
What do you respect most about your spouse?
Benon: Next month we make ten years in marriage and Faith still loves and respects me. I could not have asked for more. This quality in her prompts me to reciprocate her respect for me. She is a wonderful person.
Faith: Benon is truly born again. He takes care not to compromise his faithfulness to God. One time, a traffic officer asked for a bribe instead of us paying a fine. We were late but Benon refused and demanded that we be taken to the police station to pay the fine. When we reached, he reported the police officer and they were too embarrassed to even fine us.
He has read the Bible from cover to cover on several occasions. He is spiritual and I admire that about him. I am yet to come across somebody like him.
Benon’s love for our little girls is incredible. He tucks them into bed and wakes in the middle of the night to check on them. Whenever they have nightmares, they call their Daddy and he is always there. Even when I’m away, say, at a conference, I have no worries because I know they are in the capable hands of their father.
He is also calm and collected. You never see him panic even when there are challenges. He solves problems calmly.
A word of wisdom
Benon: From my own experience, wait on God instead of spending your energy getting frustrated and disappointed. God’s timing is always the best and when it comes, you will wonder why you struggled all that while. It is about patience.
Faith: First of all ladies, regardless of any bad experiences you may have had in past relationships, there are good men out there. Just be patient in waiting and keep praying. God listens. He will give you exactly the kind of man you want in your life.
And spend time outdoors. Socialise so that you get to meet people out there. Go to fellowships, Christian retreats like the singles’ retreats. It should not be the primary reason but who knows whom you might just meet while you are there.
Do not get weary of waiting and consequently go with a married man. He will use you for adultery and just to get children. It will ruin your future.
Material wealth is important, but you cannot find all these things at a go. You will build them together. Instead, focus on key qualities like godliness; you need a spouse who has a spiritual anchor to fall back to during tough times.
 Also, know that it is not wise to get intimate before marriage. You need to set those conditions right from the beginning; this will give a clear discrepancy between the serious person and one who is only in it for physical pleasure.
 To the married, there will always be challenges. However, you must handle them with patience and maturity. Be committed to loving your spouse because you promised to do so. Do not try to change them. You just keep on loving them, and it is this acceptance that will encourage them to turn their lives around.
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