OUR LOVE STORY:The Tweheyos

By Lydia Lakwonyero, :: 08-08-2011


So how did you meet?
Milton:  Anne and I first met at a Scripture Union conference in 1984. I was then in Senior Five and she  was in Senior One. Her elder sister and I were leaders and part of the organising team. She introduced Anne to me as her ‘little sister’ and that was it. There was nothing romantic at the time.
We did not meet again until Anne came to Makerere University to pick her admission letter. We greeted each other and chatted a little.
While at university, Anne was part of a mission team and they used to come on many occasions to western Uganda (Mbarara) where I worked with the Fellowship of Christian Unions (FOCUS). I saw her a couple of times; at one time I even hosted the team but it never occurred to me that at one time she would become somebody special to me.
Then, I was still nursing a heart break from a past relationship. I had discovered someone I cared a lot for and thought I would marry did not feel the same way about me.
It was especially difficult because at the university I was in a group of five hyper Christian brothers on fire for the Lord. We believed amongst ourselves that if we asked a girl out we would never be bounced and when we got into a relationship, it would last forever. Anything short of that we believed meant we were not spiritual enough. So you can imagine the effect of the break.
What I am grateful for however is that that relationship left me as intact as I had gotten into it. I had never compromised. In a way I now realise that I needed the experience to learn how to relate.
During the Easter weekend of 1984. They were in Western Uganda for mission. Incidentally, on Easter Monday, a close friend of Anne’s was being introduced (traditional marriage called okuhinjira) to a great friend of mine, now Bishop of Ankole, Sheldon Mwesigwa.
By then still we did not feel anything for each other. We were both to be at the function but neither of us knew that. Anne was supposed to have gone for the mission but the vehicle was small so she volunteered to stay behind. The day of the traditional marriage, I strategically sat on the groom’s side waiting for the bridal team to come. and greet us.
When I saw Anne leading the team, something I had never felt before happened. It was like an electric shock. I immediately knew within me that she was the one. But it was just the beginning. I had to know this girl better.
Then, I was housemates with the pastor of Mbarara Pentecostal Church. I shared with him and he joined me in a week -- long prayer and fasting. And by the end, God gave us both peace about it.
I then proceeded to subtly do research about her. I needed to know whether she had consistently walked with the Lord. Everybody I asked about her gave me 100% positive results.
In a bid to get close to her, I sent her cards and at one time invited her for my brother’s wedding.
During the wedding arrangements of our friends, Alice and Sheldon Mwesigwa, we got to know each other better. We spent a whole weekend in each other’s company. My goal was to maintain the friendship between us to prepare her for what I was about to ask her.
When I had decided to tell her how I felt, she had come to see me over some conference materials. She confronted me about a rumour that my cousin at the university had been spread. She apparently had told people that Anne had already been taken by her brother, that did not sit well with her. I sensed the mood was not right and decided it was not the right time.
After she left, I wrote to her a long letter presenting my credentials. In the letter I also apologised for the rumour that had been spread.
She then sent me a reply acknowledging that she had received the letter and asked me to wait for her to think about it. She would get back to me. It was also about the time I was leaving for the UK to study. Two days before my departure, I went to visit her in Fort Portal.
A month later, I received a letter in which she said yes. She also sent me her picture. I hanged her photograph on my wall and proceeded to tell everyone I knew that I had a fiancé.
Then, we did not have boyfriends and girlfriends. If someone said yes to you, it meant they were your fiancé.We then kept in touch writing each other and thereby getting to know each other.
My spiritual parents also quietly proceeded to do their own research about the girl of my choice. They even met her mother but she had no idea what they were up to. By the end of there inquiry, they presented a good report. It was amazing.
When I returned from the UK I had already bought some things for the wedding. I had my suit and rings for example. Our traditional marriage ceremony was in September 1995 and in December the same year, we wedded.
Anne: At university he sent me cards and chits and I with a few friends sometimes just laughed it off, and wondered what his agenda was. When he sent me the letter expressing his intentions, I was teaching at Kyebambe Girls School in Fort Portal. I took off time to ask about him. The report was good.
Three months after my stay in Fort Portal, Milton and another friend, a former classmate, came to visit.
Deep inside , I was amazed at his commitment. Vehicles to Fort Portal then required a lot of patience and the journey was really long. It spoke to me that he was a persistent, committed person.
What really motivated me was a word from a brother in the Lord who was in fact my prayer partner. At one time he told me that while praying, God had revealed to him that after I left for Fort Portal, two men would come to visit me, one of whom would be my future husband.
Interestingly, at the university, it was believed that a girl who left without a fiancé had little chances of getting married. This fallacy caused many girls to get into wrong relationships. I remember telling God to have his way in my life, even when my friends teased me about being too far away to meet the right man.
Milton came back from Nairobi with flowers for me. Everybody who knew us had learnt we were dating. I felt so shy. We proceeded to make resolutions on how we would conduct ourselves during the dating period.
We defined boundaries: Milton and I were never to spend a night at each other’s house and we stayed accountable to other believers. We were never to go physical: No touching or kissing. We were to remain pure till marriage.
What attracted you to each other?
Milton: Anne is physically beautiful. She is godly and intelligent. I did not want to settle for anything less than a university graduate.
And Because I knew that God had called me to serve among young people I wanted someone who would open her home to others and be of good counsel. I also asked God for a person with a different personality from mine. I talk a lot. Anne however has a quiet personality. She is a true lady.
Anne: Milton is a believer. I also wanted a man who would not always expect a woman to be in the kitchen. Milton  would get into the kitchen and cook for me. Plus, his family sarrounded me with love.
And he was always stylish and trendy with cards and flowers to express his love.
He was simple and never used money to win me over. God answered my prayer.
What do you respect most about your spouse?
Milton:  Anne is a wonderful wife and mother. She has not allowed career to corrupt this calling.She is also a very critical thinker.
 I do a lot of public speaking most of the time and she is there to help me be better at it. She looks at both ways of an issue and is never biased. She is not a yes - woman.
Anne: Milton has made me his priority. He is so supportive and promotes my interests.
He looks out for me all the time and always wants me to dress and appear nice. He has made me a proud wife.
A word of wisdom
Milton:  People are always looking for the right person but they have to be the right person in the first place. First work on your relationship with God.
And have a positive self --  image. Do not wait for Mr or Miss Right before you do.
The married, do not allow career to come before family however busy your schedule might be.
Also, divorce and separation should not be an option. Surely, there is a lot we can do to keep our marriages together. The bigger problem is that in such instances it ceases to be just about two people. Children, extended families and even the church all get affected.
Anne: Jealously protect your integrity especially in your marriage and place of work. Couples beware of the legacy you leave behind when God calls us.
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